See when you have the face of a man Spread thin over 3 half finished records It's likely the hand doctors will knock and or ring With a child's map of your muscle and mountain top voice To agree you need help to the tune of twice As much popular music The daughters of if, but are desperate Drug strung rock czars can be a sloppy candy For the emotional want some of many many land U.S.A. Another big easy for its dynamite audience All half deciding who is more popular The good great grandchild of Napoleon Or Carol Burnett's spotlight mop up man They vote by pushing colored Pins into empty check box marked Flaps of flesh located on the backs Of their miniature dogs necks Upon doing so while outside The pin poked pet neck votes are then tallied Beneath the breathy crackle Of a freshly turned off cop car By alert middle class worms hid in the heads Of Ford model mailmen Who say (Psst, psst) They say the sun is flipped By hat-tipped private dicks Who lean like (Psst, psst) Prey eyed eagles up-on classic looking lampposts Lined with the many levers that start and stop All of the stars the rich folks want Fuck Kelly Osbourne, yeah And they in turn (Spit, pit, pit, pit) Pay the gumshoe's mattress well to sing "The U.S. sparkles like George Washington at 21" Sucking the solid gold from solid ground Using his hallowed topless chopped cherry tree straw And the wealthy west can not be asked Who decides when they shoot a spectacular Until the cameraman's eyesight Starts hurting of coarse And if they say so This songs isn't happening And they will have Their poems sung to them Or they will have nothing at all