| Song | If I Didn"t Have You |
| Artist | Tim Minchin |
| Album | Tim Minchin & His Orchestra Live At The O2 |
| Yeah, yeah... | |
| If I didn't have you to hold me tight | |
| If I didn't have you to lie with at night | |
| If I didn't have you to share my sighs | |
| And to kiss me and dry my tears when I cry | |
| Well I, really think that I would | |
| Have somebody else | |
| Someone else would do | |
| Your love is one in a million | |
| You couldn't buy it at any price | |
| But of the 9 point 9 9 9 hundred thousand other loves | |
| Statistically some of them would be equally nice | |
| Or maybe not as nice but say, smarter than you | |
| Or dumber but better at sport or... tracing | |
| I'm just saying | |
| Probably | |
| If I didn't have you someone else would do | |
| If I were a rich man | |
| Fiddle diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle diddly | |
| I guess I would be with a surgeon or a model | |
| Or any of the royals or a kennedy | |
| Or a nymphomonical exhibitionist heiress to a large chain of hotels | |
| If I were a rich man maybe I would fiddle | |
| Fiddle diddle diddle with the rich man girls | |
| I'm not saying that I'd not love you if I was wealthy or handsome | |
| But realistically there's lots of fish in the sea | |
| And if I had a different rod I would conceivably land some | |
| Even though I am fiscally consistently pitiable | |
| And considerably less Brad Pitt than Brad pitiful | |
| Am I really so poor and ugly that you reckon only you could possibly love me | |
| And I | |
| Probably | |
| If I didn't have you someone else would do | |
| Look, I'm not undervaluing what we've got when I say | |
| That given the role chaos inevitably plays in the inherently flawed notion of fate | |
| It's obstruse to deduce that I've found my soulmate at the age of 17 | |
| It's just mathematically unlikely that at a university in Perth | |
| I happened to stumble on the one girl on earth specifically designed for me | |
| And if I may conjecture a further objection | |
| Love is nothing to do with destined perfection | |
| The connection is strengthened | |
| The affection simply grows over time | |
| Like a flower | |
| Or a mushroom | |
| Or a guinea pig | |
| Or a vine | |
| Or a sponge | |
| Or bigotry | |
| ...or a banana, [banana] | |
| And love is made more powerful by the ongoing drama of shared experience and synergy | |
| And symbiotic empathy or something... | |
| So I trust it would go without saying | |
| That I would feel really very sad | |
| If tomorrow you were to fall off something high | |
| Or catch something bad | |
| But I'm just saying | |
| I don't think you're special | |
| I mean... I think you’re special | |
| But, you fall within a bell curve | |
| I mean, I'm just saying I | |
| Probably | |
| I think you are unique and beautiful | |
| You make me happy just by being around | |
| But objectively you would have to agree that baby when I found you | |
| Options were relatively thin on the ground | |
| You're lovely but there must be girls as lovely as you | |
| Or maybe more open to spanking or table tennis... | |
| I'm just saying | |
| Probably | |
| I mean I reckon it's pretty likely that if for example | |
| My first girlfriend Jackie hadn't dumped me | |
| After I kissed Winston's ex girlfriend Neah at Stephs party back in 1993 | |
| Enough variables would probably have been altered by the absence of that event | |
| To have meant the advent of a tangential narrative in which we don't meet | |
| Which is to say there exists a theoretical | |
| Hypothetical parallel life | |
| Where what is is not as it is | |
| And I am not your husband and you are not my wife | |
| And I am a stuntman living in LA | |
| Married to a small blonde Portuguese skier | |
| Who when she's not training | |
| Does abstract painting | |
| Practises yoga | |
| And brews her own beer | |
| And really likes making home movies | |
| And suffers neck down alopecia | |
| But with all my heart and all my mind I know one thing is true | |
| I have just one life and just one love and my love that love is you | |
| And if it wasn't for you | |
| Baby you | |
| Probably | |
| Someone else would do |
| Yeah, yeah... | |
| If I didn' t have you to hold me tight | |
| If I didn' t have you to lie with at night | |
| If I didn' t have you to share my sighs | |
| And to kiss me and dry my tears when I cry | |
| Well I, really think that I would | |
| Have somebody else | |
| Someone else would do | |
| Your love is one in a million | |
| You couldn' t buy it at any price | |
| But of the 9 point 9 9 9 hundred thousand other loves | |
| Statistically some of them would be equally nice | |
| Or maybe not as nice but say, smarter than you | |
| Or dumber but better at sport or... tracing | |
| I' m just saying | |
| Probably | |
| If I didn' t have you someone else would do | |
| If I were a rich man | |
| Fiddle diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle diddly | |
| I guess I would be with a surgeon or a model | |
| Or any of the royals or a kennedy | |
| Or a nymphomonical exhibitionist heiress to a large chain of hotels | |
| If I were a rich man maybe I would fiddle | |
| Fiddle diddle diddle with the rich man girls | |
| I' m not saying that I' d not love you if I was wealthy or handsome | |
| But realistically there' s lots of fish in the sea | |
| And if I had a different rod I would conceivably land some | |
| Even though I am fiscally consistently pitiable | |
| And considerably less Brad Pitt than Brad pitiful | |
| Am I really so poor and ugly that you reckon only you could possibly love me | |
| And I | |
| Probably | |
| If I didn' t have you someone else would do | |
| Look, I' m not undervaluing what we' ve got when I say | |
| That given the role chaos inevitably plays in the inherently flawed notion of fate | |
| It' s obstruse to deduce that I' ve found my soulmate at the age of 17 | |
| It' s just mathematically unlikely that at a university in Perth | |
| I happened to stumble on the one girl on earth specifically designed for me | |
| And if I may conjecture a further objection | |
| Love is nothing to do with destined perfection | |
| The connection is strengthened | |
| The affection simply grows over time | |
| Like a flower | |
| Or a mushroom | |
| Or a guinea pig | |
| Or a vine | |
| Or a sponge | |
| Or bigotry | |
| ... or a banana, banana | |
| And love is made more powerful by the ongoing drama of shared experience and synergy | |
| And symbiotic empathy or something... | |
| So I trust it would go without saying | |
| That I would feel really very sad | |
| If tomorrow you were to fall off something high | |
| Or catch something bad | |
| But I' m just saying | |
| I don' t think you' re special | |
| I mean... I think you' re special | |
| But, you fall within a bell curve | |
| I mean, I' m just saying I | |
| Probably | |
| I think you are unique and beautiful | |
| You make me happy just by being around | |
| But objectively you would have to agree that baby when I found you | |
| Options were relatively thin on the ground | |
| You' re lovely but there must be girls as lovely as you | |
| Or maybe more open to spanking or table tennis... | |
| I' m just saying | |
| Probably | |
| I mean I reckon it' s pretty likely that if for example | |
| My first girlfriend Jackie hadn' t dumped me | |
| After I kissed Winston' s ex girlfriend Neah at Stephs party back in 1993 | |
| Enough variables would probably have been altered by the absence of that event | |
| To have meant the advent of a tangential narrative in which we don' t meet | |
| Which is to say there exists a theoretical | |
| Hypothetical parallel life | |
| Where what is is not as it is | |
| And I am not your husband and you are not my wife | |
| And I am a stuntman living in LA | |
| Married to a small blonde Portuguese skier | |
| Who when she' s not training | |
| Does abstract painting | |
| Practises yoga | |
| And brews her own beer | |
| And really likes making home movies | |
| And suffers neck down alopecia | |
| But with all my heart and all my mind I know one thing is true | |
| I have just one life and just one love and my love that love is you | |
| And if it wasn' t for you | |
| Baby you | |
| Probably | |
| Someone else would do |