I'm gonna tell all you girls a secret, please keep it to yourself I'm gonna tell all you girls a secret, please, please keep it to yourself Why it's a million dollar secret, so please don't tell nobody else Now if you're a real young girl And you want to get rich quick Get an old, old man, girls And that'll be the lick You know those old men are fine, yes they know just what to do They'll give you lots of loving, but they'll give you a whole lot of money too (And I love that part) Now he'll tickle you under your chin And he'll scratch you on your side He'll say "Wake up you fine young thing Give me my morning's exercise" Those old men are fine, yes yes yes they know what to do They'll give you lots of loving, but they'll give you a whole lot of money too Now I've got a man who's seventy-eight And I'm just thirty-three Everybody thinks I'm crazy But his will's made out to me! Yes that man is fine, girls he really knows just what to do Why he'll give you lots of loving, but he'll give you a whole lot of money too Now I've told all you young girls Exactly what to do Now let me tell you women If you're over forty-two Get you a young dude, and raise him to your hand Cause he'll make you think life is wonderful, yes you'll think the world is grand Now take a look in the barnyard See that old fat hen She's got a fresh young rooster Feels just like a chick again So get a young man, and raise him to your hand Cause he'll make you think life is wonderful, yes you'll think the world is grand You know he'll spend your hard-earned money Make your life a hell on ea