[00:00.00]Message number 7. Volume 1.
[00:06.06]
[00:07.34]Where am I?
[00:10.63]Sometimes, when I'm in a room, it will remind me through a smell or something,
[00:20.47]of a room I've been in before.
[00:23.90]Sometimes the smell could be can-fer, or vanilla,
[00:27.45]or (whatever) what it is smell they put in gas so that you...
[00:31.84]You’ll be able to detect there's a leak.
[00:35.94]And suddenly, I'll be transformed to that other place and usually it's a room I had as a child
[00:43.65]in which I had a terrible fever once.
[00:46.83]And the entire room was transformed in my imagination or in my feverish hallucination
[00:52.63]into a place of screaming white faces looking at me.
[00:56.89]It was interesting and disconcerting at the same time.
[01:01.41]It was around then that I first began having the dream
[01:06.01]where I was a child at the bottom of the sea.
[01:08.98]And there, my sea uncles, and I think maybe they were really turtles,
[01:14.37]introduced me to a robot who was apparently my brother.
[01:19.49]My robot brother under the ocean. I thought about him for many years,
[01:24.76]I believe he had a red head and a yellow body.
[01:27.66]Kinda now I'm thinking like Iron Man.
[01:30.80]But this, I hadn't heard of Iron Man at the time.
[01:33.96]And then we would travel places years later.
[01:37.90]I found out I had a brother I didn't know about, my father had had another son.
[01:45.14]And he wasn't a robot, but to me he was
[01:49.55]cause that’s what havin' a half-brother is like sometimes.
[01:53.11]I think the meaning of the dream, and the whole meaning of the fever, was this,
[01:57.94]and not about a real brother at all,
[02:00.92]but to know yourself in such a way that that hidden robot brother in you,
[02:05.75]again, introduced to you by your (body) underwater uncles,
[02:09.43]can help you come to peace with things.
[02:14.03]That's why other smells don't take me places -
[02:19.28]like most of the bad ones, like rotten meat, which I remember smelling like on a ship one time.
[02:24.77]You have to store food on a ship you see.
[02:28.11]If you're going out to sea you can't just, uh, expect to go shopping.
[02:33.02]You have to bring along what you're going to eat.
[02:35.61]So, if you bring along something that's too fresh,
[02:37.96]it's gonna go bad.
[02:40.86]And that's a rule a life as well. Make sure things are dried up or put away in tins.
[02:48.33]Can last ya, even if ya have malaria and get a fever - start seeing thing that aren't there!
[02:55.59]But they can be good company too.
[02:58.88]Not everything that isn't there isn't real.
[03:04.81]Like this room.
[03:07.21]Not this room, but the room I'm in as a child
[03:10.45]and I'm brought back to by the gas smells and the can-fer and other things
[03:14.32]like I said, maybe it was cookies or something my grandmother was baking.
[03:18.92]Cause she would and she'd infect these places in my mind with them molecules imprinting.
[03:25.40]And now I can't shake it.
[03:28.56]And so maybe if I smell you *sniff sniff sniff*
[03:33.05]and your coat been in one of those closets with moth balls,
[03:35.71]I'm back there again.
[03:37.67]Oh, it's tiresome. I wanna go on and live another life outside this cycle of my memories but I cannot.
[03:45.98]I'm trapped inside them, it's a little spiral,
[03:48.57]and I think as I die and I remember them more opaquely
[03:51.81]and it’ll become more like a Man Ray movie
[03:54.00]that's it’s gonna be even more interesting.
[03:56.48]What's this part?
[03:57.29]Everything will be a surprise as the movie in my mind unwinds.
[04:03.09]And it'll remind me of things. And I'll take little naps.
[04:08.99]And it won't be so bad.
[04:11.63]And that room...it is a ship.
[04:16.62]It was a ship all along.
[04:19.18]And that's probably why I smelled gas.
[04:22.45]But now looking back,
[04:25.84]I don't know, would I trade it for being on solid land?
[04:31.15]Yes. I would.
[04:34.93]That's the funny part.
[04:39.40]Where am I?
[04:41.99]Message 7, volume 1.
[04:44.42]Provided for the public. And these discourses and others.
[04:49.17]The where am I network.
[05:01.42]where am I? where am I? where am I? where am I?
[05:10.62]where am I? where am I?