[01:07.OO]Who, when you win Will always give your back a pat
[00:00.10]What, in all in heaven, Can have prompted her to go?
[00:03.10]After such a triumph at the ball?
[00:06.29]What could have depressed her? What could have possessed her?
[00:08.50]l cannot understand The wretch at all
[00:26.30]Women are irrational That's all there is to that
[00:29.59]Their heads are full of cotton Hay and rags
[00:32.00]They're nothing but exasperating lrritating, vacillating
[00:36.00]Calculating, agitating, maddening And infuriating hags
[00:40.50](P:Of course not.
[00:49.90]Pickering,
[00:51.10]why can't a woman be more like a man?
[00:55.50](P:l beg your pardon?
[00:56.00]Yes, why can't a woman Be more like a man?
[01:00.00]Men are so honest So thoroughly square
[01:03.90]Eternally noble, historically fair
[01:09.70]Well, why can't a woman Be like that?
[01:14.60]Why does everyone Do what the others do?
[01:17.70]Can't a woman learn To use her head?
[01:22.09]Why do they do everything Their mothers do?
[01:24.00]Why don't they grow up Well, like their father instead?
[01:27.00]Why can't a woman Take after a man?
[01:31.00]Men are so pleasant So easy to please
[01:34.00]Whenever you're with them You're always at ease
[01:37.00]Would you be slighted lf I didn't speak for hours?
[01:41.00]Would you be livid lf l had a drink or two?
[01:43.40](P: Nonsense.
[01:43.90]Would you be wounded lf I never sent you flowers?
[01:46.30](P:Never.
[01:46.70]Well, why can't a woman Be like you?
[01:51.20]One man in a million May shout a bit100
[01:54.50]Now and then There's one with slight defects
[01:57.90]One, perhaps, whose truthfulness You doubt a bit
[02:01.00]But by and large We are a marvelous ***
[02:04.70]Why can't a woman Take after a man?
[02:07.55]Because men are so friendly Good-natured and kind
[02:11.55]A better companion You never will find
[02:14.78]lf l were hours late for dinner Would you bellow?
[02:17.35](P:Of course not.
[02:17.79]lf I forgot your silly birthday Would you fuss?
[02:20.15](P:Nonsense.
[02:20.50]Would you complain lf l took out another fellow?
[02:23.49](P:Never.
[02:23.94]Well, why can't a woman Be like us?
[02:35.00]Why can't a woman Be more like a man?
[02:39.70]Men are so decent Such regular chaps
[02:42.45]Ready to help you Through any mishaps
[02:45.90]Ready to buck you up Whenever you are glum
[02:48.95]Why can't a woman be a chum?
[02:53.40]Why is thinking Something women never do?
[02:56.50]Why is logic never even tried?
[03:00.20]Straightening up their hair Is all they ever do
[03:02.70]Why don't they straighten up The mess that's inside?
[03:06.00]Why can't a woman Behave like a man?
[03:10.00]lf l was a woman Who'd been to a ball
[03:13.50]Been hailed as a princess By one and by all
[03:16.30]Would l start weeping Like a bathtub overflowing?
[03:20.00]Or carry on As if my home were in a tree?
[03:23.20]Would l run off And never tell me where l'm going?
[03:26.00]Why can't a woman be like me?