PAULETTE
 (spoken) 
 Elle, do you know the number one reason behind all bad hair decisions?
 Love!
 
 (sung) You're lost without your love
 Your heart is on the floor
 I can help you
 I've been there before!
 When I need to relax
 I just put on some tracks
 From this CD I bought for the store
 
 (Celtic chanting)
 
 (spoken) Isn't that relaxing? It's called CELTIC MOODS!
 
 (sung) When I'm lonely or feeling dejected
 I play this and it never fails
 I pretend like I'm in Ireland
 With Enya and the whales
 
 When my telephone gets disconnected
 Or I spend every night alone
 I pretend like I'm in Ireland
 Where the Irish bagpipes drone
 
 Smell the grass as a rainstorm is endin'
 People smile while I stroll past their farms
 With a redheaded sailor named Brendan
 And we dance without moving our arms
 
 In a bar once I met this guy Dewey
 And he bought me like 14 beers
 And he told me that he was from Ireland
 So I lived with him 10 years
 
 If I squinted he looked like my sailor
 Through my boozy delusional fog
 But he dumped me for some slut named Kayla
 Took my trailer and took my dog
 
 In Ireland they know how to love you
 You embrace in the misty Irish breeze
 And if your Irish boy tires of you
 You're allowed to shoot him in the knees
 
 Hey, you look like that poster for Ireland
 Long blonde hair and the sweet sunny face
 Oh no wait that's the poster for Sweden
 Oh screw it. I'll never see either place!
 
 But a girl sweet as you has a future
 You have hope as each new day dawns
 Girls like you always get to see Ireland
 Give my love to the leprechauns