| Song | Little Blue Riding Hood |
| Artist | Stan Freberg |
| Album | The Very Best Of Stan Freberg |
| 作曲 : DAWS BUTLER/Stan Freberg/Walter Schumann | |
| >"Dragnet" opening theme< | |
| Narrator: The story of Little Blue Riding Hood is true. Only the color has been changed to prevent an investigation | |
| >"Dragnet" opening music< | |
| Joe (voice-over): This is the woods. My name is Wednesday, I work outa' homicide. Monday, February the 2nd, 10:22am. Bumped into Chicken Lickin' | |
| Told me the sky was falling. I booked her on a 614, turned her over to the psychiatrists. Then a call came in on a 503. When I was on my way to the 503 a 618 came in. I added up the 614, the 503 and the 618. Got 1735. I handed in my paper to the Chief, he corrected it, gave me 100%, patted me on the head. Told me I was a good cop | |
| >dramatic music< | |
| Joe (voice-over): 11:45am, it happened. I saw a little girl in a blue hood carrying a basket. I stopped to question her | |
| Joe: Pardon me, ma'am, could I talk to you for just a minute, ma'am? | |
| Little Blue: What about? | |
| Joe: Nothing much, ma'am. Just wanna ask you a few questions, ma'am. What's your name? | |
| Little Blue: Little Blue Riding Hood | |
| Joe: Where ya' going, ma'am? | |
| Little Blue: Grandma's house | |
| Joe: Yes, ma'am. Whad'ya got in the basket? | |
| Little Blue (defensively): Whad'ya trying to say, I got something in the basket I shouldn't have? | |
| Joe: No, ma'am, I didn't say that | |
| Little Blue: Then whad'ya asking me all these questions for? | |
| Joe: Just routine, ma'am, we just wanna' get the facts. May I have a look in that basket, ma'am? | |
| Little Blue: Be my guest | |
| Joe: Let's see. Sawed-off shotgun. Knife. Bludgeon. Box of dum-dum shells. Nothing suspicious here. All right, ma'am, we may want to talk to you later, so don't leave the woods | |
| >dramatic music< | |
| Joe (voice-over): She skipped on down the path. But she didn't know I'd seen the concealed compartment in the basket. In it, what I'd suspected all along - goodies | |
| >dramatic music< | |
| Joe (voice-over): My job - get to grandma's before she did. I took a shortcut through the strawberry patch. It was sort of a strawberry shortcut | |
| >sound of walking< | |
| Joe (voice-over): I walked up to the cottage, rang the bell | |
| >door bell< | |
| Grandma: Coming, dear | |
| >door opens< | |
| Joe: OK, grandma, it's a raid | |
| Grandma (acting surprised): A raid? Why, I'm just a peace-loving old lady, you've got the wrong grandma | |
| Joe: Yes, ma'am. We just wanna' get the facts. Where'd you get that bump on your head? | |
| Grandma: The sky fell on me this morning | |
| >dramatic music< | |
| Joe (voice-over): I made a note to book her on a 614 and turn her over to the psychiatrists. I tied her up, put her in the closet, then I put on the grandma suit and got into bed | |
| >knock on door< | |
| Joe (making no attempt to disguise his voice): Come in, ma'am | |
| >door opens< | |
| Little Blue: Hello, gramma, I got the loot. What're you doin' in bed? | |
| Joe: I'm feeling poorly | |
| Little Blue: But gramma, what big ears you have! | |
| Joe: All the better to get the facts. I just wanna' get the facts, ma'am | |
| Little Blue: But gramma, what a big subpoena you have in your pocket! | |
| Joe: All the better to serve you with | |
| Little Blue: But gramma, what a big .38 police special you have pointed at me! | |
| Joe: All the better to take you in. You're under arrest. You and your grandma are operating a goodies ring | |
| Little Blue (sadly): A cop. I shoulda' known | |
| Joe: Known what, ma'am? | |
| Little Blue (sadly): You look nothing like my gramma. You forgot about the mustache | |
| Joe: But I don't have a mustache | |
| Little Blue: I know. But gramma does | |
| >dramatic music< | |
| Frank: Well, I see you broke the goodies ring. How'd you get a lead on 'er, Joe? | |
| Joe: I just played a hunch, Frank. It was just a hunch. I played my luck; sometimes a hunch pays off, sometimes it doesn't, I was just lucky, I just played a hunch, Frank | |
| Frank: What you're trying to say, Joe, is you just played a hunch. A lucky guess. Sometimes a hunch pays off, sometimes it doesn't. You just played a hunch. Is that what you're trying to tell me, Joe? | |
| Joe: Yeah. I just played a hunch | |
| >"Dragnet" end music< |
| zuò qǔ : DAWS BUTLER Stan Freberg Walter Schumann | |
| " Dragnet" opening theme | |
| Narrator: The story of Little Blue Riding Hood is true. Only the color has been changed to prevent an investigation | |
| " Dragnet" opening music | |
| Joe voice-over: This is the woods. My name is Wednesday, I work outa' homicide. Monday, February the 2nd, 10: 22am. Bumped into Chicken Lickin' | |
| Told me the sky was falling. I booked her on a 614, turned her over to the psychiatrists. Then a call came in on a 503. When I was on my way to the 503 a 618 came in. I added up the 614, the 503 and the 618. Got 1735. I handed in my paper to the Chief, he corrected it, gave me 100, patted me on the head. Told me I was a good cop | |
| dramatic music | |
| Joe voice-over: 11: 45am, it happened. I saw a little girl in a blue hood carrying a basket. I stopped to question her | |
| Joe: Pardon me, ma' am, could I talk to you for just a minute, ma' am? | |
| Little Blue: What about? | |
| Joe: Nothing much, ma' am. Just wanna ask you a few questions, ma' am. What' s your name? | |
| Little Blue: Little Blue Riding Hood | |
| Joe: Where ya' going, ma' am? | |
| Little Blue: Grandma' s house | |
| Joe: Yes, ma' am. Whad' ya got in the basket? | |
| Little Blue defensively: Whad' ya trying to say, I got something in the basket I shouldn' t have? | |
| Joe: No, ma' am, I didn' t say that | |
| Little Blue: Then whad' ya asking me all these questions for? | |
| Joe: Just routine, ma' am, we just wanna' get the facts. May I have a look in that basket, ma' am? | |
| Little Blue: Be my guest | |
| Joe: Let' s see. Sawed-off shotgun. Knife. Bludgeon. Box of dum-dum shells. Nothing suspicious here. All right, ma' am, we may want to talk to you later, so don' t leave the woods | |
| dramatic music | |
| Joe voice-over: She skipped on down the path. But she didn' t know I' d seen the concealed compartment in the basket. In it, what I' d suspected all along - goodies | |
| dramatic music | |
| Joe voice-over: My job - get to grandma' s before she did. I took a shortcut through the strawberry patch. It was sort of a strawberry shortcut | |
| sound of walking | |
| Joe voice-over: I walked up to the cottage, rang the bell | |
| door bell | |
| Grandma: Coming, dear | |
| door opens | |
| Joe: OK, grandma, it' s a raid | |
| Grandma acting surprised: A raid? Why, I' m just a peace-loving old lady, you' ve got the wrong grandma | |
| Joe: Yes, ma' am. We just wanna' get the facts. Where' d you get that bump on your head? | |
| Grandma: The sky fell on me this morning | |
| dramatic music | |
| Joe voice-over: I made a note to book her on a 614 and turn her over to the psychiatrists. I tied her up, put her in the closet, then I put on the grandma suit and got into bed | |
| knock on door | |
| Joe making no attempt to disguise his voice: Come in, ma' am | |
| door opens | |
| Little Blue: Hello, gramma, I got the loot. What' re you doin' in bed? | |
| Joe: I' m feeling poorly | |
| Little Blue: But gramma, what big ears you have! | |
| Joe: All the better to get the facts. I just wanna' get the facts, ma' am | |
| Little Blue: But gramma, what a big subpoena you have in your pocket! | |
| Joe: All the better to serve you with | |
| Little Blue: But gramma, what a big. 38 police special you have pointed at me! | |
| Joe: All the better to take you in. You' re under arrest. You and your grandma are operating a goodies ring | |
| Little Blue sadly: A cop. I shoulda' known | |
| Joe: Known what, ma' am? | |
| Little Blue sadly: You look nothing like my gramma. You forgot about the mustache | |
| Joe: But I don' t have a mustache | |
| Little Blue: I know. But gramma does | |
| dramatic music | |
| Frank: Well, I see you broke the goodies ring. How' d you get a lead on ' er, Joe? | |
| Joe: I just played a hunch, Frank. It was just a hunch. I played my luck sometimes a hunch pays off, sometimes it doesn' t, I was just lucky, I just played a hunch, Frank | |
| Frank: What you' re trying to say, Joe, is you just played a hunch. A lucky guess. Sometimes a hunch pays off, sometimes it doesn' t. You just played a hunch. Is that what you' re trying to tell me, Joe? | |
| Joe: Yeah. I just played a hunch | |
| " Dragnet" end music |