| Song | Assume The Perpendicular |
| Artist | The Divine Comedy |
| Album | Bang Goes The Knighthood |
| Slip on your Barbour jacket, jump in my old MG | |
| We’re off to the depths of Somerset to see what we can see see see | |
| We don’t wanna drink the cider, we don’t wanna walk for miles | |
| We just want to go to a stately home built in the Georgian style | |
| I can’t abide a horizontal life | |
| It’s time to rise, assume the perpendicular | |
| Jump up and down, make complimentary sounds | |
| And talk about nothing in particular | |
| Crunch up the gravel driveway, gasp at the grand facade | |
| Just for today we’re lords and ladies, oh what a gay charade! | |
| Lavinia loves the lintels - Anna, the architraves | |
| Ben’s impressed by the buttresses thrust up the chapel knave | |
| I can’t abide a horizontal life | |
| It’s time to rise, assume the perpendicular | |
| Jump up and down, make funny little sounds | |
| And talk about nothing in particular | |
| We’ll walk the grounds by Capability Brown | |
| Get lost for days inside the manicured maze | |
| We’ll bump our heads jumping on a four-post bed | |
| And we’ll ride for free | |
| On the ladders round the walls of the circular library | |
| I can’t abide a horizontal life | |
| It’s time to rise, assume the perpendicular | |
| Jump up and down, make wild ecstatic sounds | |
| And talk about nothing in particular | |
| Nothing in particular… |
| Slip on your Barbour jacket, jump in my old MG | |
| We' re off to the depths of Somerset to see what we can see see see | |
| We don' t wanna drink the cider, we don' t wanna walk for miles | |
| We just want to go to a stately home built in the Georgian style | |
| I can' t abide a horizontal life | |
| It' s time to rise, assume the perpendicular | |
| Jump up and down, make complimentary sounds | |
| And talk about nothing in particular | |
| Crunch up the gravel driveway, gasp at the grand facade | |
| Just for today we' re lords and ladies, oh what a gay charade! | |
| Lavinia loves the lintels Anna, the architraves | |
| Ben' s impressed by the buttresses thrust up the chapel knave | |
| I can' t abide a horizontal life | |
| It' s time to rise, assume the perpendicular | |
| Jump up and down, make funny little sounds | |
| And talk about nothing in particular | |
| We' ll walk the grounds by Capability Brown | |
| Get lost for days inside the manicured maze | |
| We' ll bump our heads jumping on a fourpost bed | |
| And we' ll ride for free | |
| On the ladders round the walls of the circular library | |
| I can' t abide a horizontal life | |
| It' s time to rise, assume the perpendicular | |
| Jump up and down, make wild ecstatic sounds | |
| And talk about nothing in particular | |
| Nothing in particular |