if i die and go to hell real soon 
 it will appear to me as this room 
 and for eternity i'd lay in bed 
 in my boxers, half stoned 
 with a pillow under my head 
 
 i'd be chatting on the inter-web 
 maggots prey upon the living dead 
 i have no interest in the things she said 
 on the phone, every day, 
 i'll permanetly hit the hay. 
 
 Hey 
 
 i called her on the phone and she touched herself 
 she touched herself, she touched herself 
 i called her on the phone and she touched herself 
 i laughed myself to sleep. 
 
 at this rate, 
 i'll be heading for electric chairs. 
 i'm only human with my cross to bare 
 
 when she described her underwear, 
 i forgot all the rules 
 my rabbi taught me in the old shul 
 
 you're too young to be this empty girl 
 ill prepare you for a sick dark world 
 know that you will be my down fall 
 but i call and i call and i call all 
 
 i called her on the phone and she touched herself, 
 she touched herself, she touched herself 
 i called her on the phone and she touched herself, 
 i laughed myself to sleep. 
 
 i don't know what i want. 
 i don't know what i want. 
 i don't know what i want. 
 i don't know what i want. 
 i don't know what i want. 
 i don't know what i want. 
 i don't know what i want. 
 i don't know what i want. 
 
 i called her on the phone and she touched herself, 
 she touched herself, she touched herself, 
 i called her on the phone and she touched herself, 
 i laughed myself to sleep. 
 
 i called her on the phone and she touched herself, 
 she touched herself, she touched herself. 
 i called her on the phone and she touched herself, 
 i laughed myself to sleep.