The school Christmas party is coming

We ain't doing rugby no more

McIntyres teaching us waltzing

Out on the gymnasium floor

Out on the gymnasium floor

McIntyres out of the army

Youll be slippered if you get it wrong

McIntyre's dim, looms loud in the gym

Well, we've only got our little shorts on
We've only got our little shorts on

And it's 1, 2, 3, 2, 2, were all a disgrace

McIntyre tore us apart

And we danced with ourselves
When wed all find a space

Waltzing with fear in our hearts

Waltzing with fear in our hearts

Comes the day of the big final manoeuvres

All of our heads are a whirl

Its getting much closer to D day

This time we're gonna do it with girls

This time we're gonna do it with girls

In the arena the ladies were waiting

A twelve year old partner to guide

Some matches were fixed, the rest of us mixed
And a fat girl got left at the side
A fat girl got left at the side

And it's 1, 2, 3, 2, 2, were all a disgrace

McIntyre tore us apart

And we danced with ourselves
When wed all find a space

Waltzing with fear in our hearts

Waltzing with fear in our hearts

When you come to my fights
And I am under the lights
And you see that my footwork is false

Don't count me out at the start of the bout

I'm just doing the secondary waltz

Doing the secondary waltz