If A Girl Isn't Pretty - Original Motion Picture Soundtrack
If a girl isn't pretty like a Miss Atlantic City

All she gets from life is pity and a pat

Kindly name a star hasn't won a contest or a pageant

If she hasn't, she just never gets to bat.

She must a-shine in every detail

like a ring you're buying retail

Be a standard size that fits a standard dress

When a girl's incidentals are no bigger than two lentils

Then to me it doesn't spell success

From three faces that could cause you
to have temporary nausea

Do I have to hear a lecture such as that?

Is a nose with deviation such a crime against the nation!

Should I throw her into jail or drown the cat?

So she looks a bit off-balance, she possesses golden talents

Or is that a pill too bitter to digest?

Oh she's got very nice deportment, mmm!

But when they see that assortment

From the gallery they'll be throwin'  fruit!