I was flippin’ through the channels
A lazy Sunday afternoon
Caught the race in Talladega
Comin’ round lap twenty-two
When the fella in the blue car
Gave the red car a little tap
Then a rainbow of colors
Went flippin’ down the track
In what that announcer called a spectacular crash
（And I thought）

Well hell, I can do that
What’s the big deal?
Hit a wall in a ball of fire requires no skill
A hundred thousand fans
Screamin’ in the stands
He gets a bag full of cash
To drive in circles and crash
Hell, I can do that

While they were under caution
I switched it back to the football game
My team was losin’
Coach was hangin’ his head in shame
Then they gave thirty-two the football
And he hit the hole fast
Between him and the goal line
Wasn’t nothin’ but grass
Then he tripped on his own two feet
Fell flat on his back
（And I said）

Well, hell, I can do that
Man, what’s the big deal
If all they want is stumblin’, fumblin’ skills
A hundred thousand fans
Screamin’ in the stands
He gets a bag full of cash
To sit out the second half
Hell, I can do that

Well I must have dozed off
I woke up with my baby next to me
Remote in her hand, tears in her eyes from a movie
A romantic comedy, starring Matthew McConaughey
Oh hell baby, I can do that
I don’t see the big deal
Kiss a girl, save the world and the monster ain’t even real
He just takes off his shirt
Stuntman does the work
He gets a boat load of cash, for a quick shot of his ass
Hell, I can do that

Might need to wax my back
But hell, I can do that