[00:00.000] 作词 : David Yazbek
[00:00.000] 作曲 : David Yazbek
[00:00.00]I know what's gonna happen
[00:01.48]I'll try to go to bed
[00:03.05]With fear of failure flapping
[00:04.39]Like a fruit bat in my head
[00:05.85]I'll sleep for half an hour
[00:07.17]The clock will ring at six
[00:08.55]I'll wake up in the shower with a stomach full of bricks
[00:12.04]So I won't have any breakfast, maybe just a little tea
[00:14.06]Like when you have to go and get a colonoscopy
[00:16.37]Which incidentally isn't half as disconcerting or upsetting
[00:19.35]As going for a part you know there is no way that you are getting
[00:22.12]But anyway I'm heading, downtown for the audition
[00:24.61]Where everything I'm dreading will be coming to fruition
[00:27.17]And here's what's gonna happen
[00:28.71]I'll walk in weak with hunger
[00:30.10]And there's a dozen girls who look like me but ten years younger
[00:32.68]I'll go into the bathroom and I'll try to vocalize
[00:35.53]And I'll be singing "minga-minga-minga-minga-ming"
[00:37.82]But I'll be hearing Sandy sucks
[00:39.51]She really sucks, she really, really, really blows
[00:41.40]And she's old, and she's lame,
[00:43.17]and then someone calls my name
[00:44.21]And here's what happens
[00:45.11]I'll walk into the room
[00:46.63]The gross fluorescent lighting is inviting as a tomb
[00:48.93]And everybody smiles, they'll say its good to see ya
[00:51.61]But all I see is judges and they'll all look like Scalia
[00:54.44]And then a little banter as they look me up and down
[00:56.81]And somewhere through the fog of insecurity and hate
[00:59.56]I'll try to convince them that I'm charming
[01:00.100]And I'm clever and I'm fun to have around
[01:03.12]But I'm starting to unravel in my head I hear the gavel
[01:06.05]Guilty! They're gonna throw the book at me 'cuz I'm
[01:08.45]Guilty! Of coming in and wasting all their time
[01:11.04]Guilty! Of almost every other showbiz crime
[01:13.72]Not young enough!
[01:14.57]Not thin enough!
[01:15.24]Not pretty enough!
[01:15.84]Not good enough!
[01:17.32]We hereby sentence you to a lifetime of waiting tables and debilitating self-loathing
[01:21.60]Sandy?
[01:22.69]But wait no someone's asking
[01:23.72]So can we hear your voice?
[01:25.16]I make a lame attempt at humor: Do I have a choice?
[01:27.73]I nod at the pianist
[01:29.04]He's always wearing black
[01:30.44]He's always in a turtleneck with dandruff on his back
[01:32.100]No sooner do I get my note and open up my trap
[01:35.58]Then inevitably some mealy-mouthed assistant director's thumbs are all over his iPhone
[01:39.02]And I know he's probably tweeting LOL, This girl is crap
[01:41.76]She's a fake, she's a phony
[01:43.01]She could never win a Tony
[01:44.76]I now live in a place I know quite well
[01:47.21]I've left the world, and I've entered hell
[01:50.24]I'm this far away from a fainting spell
[01:52.61]But just before I die
[01:55.12]I finish a song which I oversell
[01:57.85]Somebody says thanks and wishes me well
[02:00.46]The next thing I know I'm at Taco Bell
[02:03.37]Stuffing my face with meat
[02:06.98]I'm trying to take it slowly
[02:08.20]I'm trying to be my best
[02:09.50]I'm trying to be more holy
[02:10.86]Less bitter and depressed
[02:12.18]I'm reading Eckhart Tolle
[02:13.63]He makes a lot of sense
[02:14.86]I bought a Buddhist bowl
[02:16.22]He says he it helps you be less tense
[02:19.97]It doesn't do a thing for me
[02:21.16]I sit there on the floor
[02:22.65]I watch a vivid sequence of humiliating instances from my past go by
[02:25.90]And think what kind of masochist keeps coming back for more
[02:28.64]When she knows what's gonna happen
[02:29.85]'Cuz it never doesn't happen
[02:31.34]'Cuz it always, always
[02:32.75]Sandy? Sandy!
[02:33.43]Michael?
[02:34.14]No! I know what's gonna happen
[02:35.99]Don't tell me that I don't
[02:37.11]And don't say that I'll rise to the occasion 'cuz I won't
[02:39.14]And don't say I've got talent
[02:40.60]And don't say I've got heart
[02:41.76]And don't say that I'm clever cuz I know I'm pretty smart
[02:44.12]I'm smart enough to know that I'm too stupid to admit
[02:46.37]You can't survive a diet that consists of eating shit
[02:48.67]The trick is knowing when it's time to pack your bags and say "that's it!"
[02:52.62]You know what's gonna happen
[02:53.73]I know what's gonna happen
[02:55.78]Here's what's gonna happen
[02:56.95]I quit!
[02:58.42]I quit!
[02:59.63]I quit!