[00:00.94]Dear Abby, Dear Abby, my feet are too long
[00:58.18]My hair's falling out and my rights are all wrong
[01:02.70]My friends they all tell me that I've no friends at all
[01:07.62]Won't you write me a letter, won't you give me a call
[01:12.07]Signed Bewildered
[01:15.72]Bewildered, Bewildered, you have no complaint
[01:22.17]You are what your are and you ain't what you ain't
[01:26.10]So listen up Buster, and listen up good
[01:31.14]Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood
[01:36.19]Dear Abby, Dear Abby, my fountain pen leaks
[01:45.33]My wife hollers at me and my kids are all freaks
[01:49.49]Every side I get up on is the wrong side of bed
[01:54.72]If it weren't so expensive I'd wish I were dead
[01:59.32]Signed Unhappy
[02:02.30]Unhappy, Unhappy, you have no complaint
[02:09.06]You are what your are and you ain't what you ain't
[02:13.00]So listen up Buster, and listen up good
[02:18.03]Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood
[02:22.46]Dear Abby, Dear Abby, you won't believe this
[02:39.79]But my stomach makes noises whenever I kiss
[02:43.63]My girlfriend tells me it's all in my head
[02:48.54]But my stomach tells me to write you instead
[02:53.08]Signed Noise-maker
[02:57.21]Noise-maker, Noise-maker, you have no complaint
[03:03.94]You are what your are and you ain't what you ain't
[03:07.71]So listen up Buster, and listen up good
[03:13.16]Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood
[03:18.21]Dear Abby, Dear Abby, well I never thought
[03:27.08]That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught
[03:31.33]We were sitting in the back seat just shooting the breeze
[03:36.62]With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees
[03:41.10]Signed Just Married
[03:45.24]Just Married, Just Married, you have no complaint
[03:51.80]You are what your are and you ain't what you ain't
[03:55.95]So listen up Buster, and listen up good
[04:00.99]Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood
[04:07.21]