If some of my friends could be monkeys They would have four hands and understand me If some of my friends could be monkeys They would have four hands and understand me I wish my girlfriend was a monkey With her four hands she would grab me at night I would have her on a leash, climbing up to trees And she could steal a lot of things for me I'd show her to some kids at night And they would pet her head To make her feel fine If some of my friends could be monkeys They would have four hands and understand me If some of my friends could be monkeys They would have four hands and understand me My best friend used to be a monkey Now he's a neanderthal He makes 4.50 an hour at the local mall And i feel bad for him Because we used to be best friend And he's gotta wear that stupid hat And it fucks with his pride If some of my friends could be monkeys They would have four hands and understand me If some of my friends could be monkeys They would have four hands and understand me Monkey brain soup at a monkey brain party Monkey man suit at a monkey man party They're just like us but a little bit feeble They're just like us but a little bit fecal Monkeys are wild and monkeys are sweet And they'll make a good petname For someone you love If some of my friends could be monkeys They would have four hands and understand me If some of my friends could be monkeys They would have four hands and understand me