| [00:00.000] |
One thing I was sure of, |
| [00:02.200] |
My uncle Leo was definitely the hero of my childhood. |
| [00:06.800] |
The smell of his "Old Spice" cologne carried me back into that lost childhood more than the home movies did. |
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My uncle didn't know it, but it was the sweet cheap smell of car dealers that took me back. |
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And made me dissolve into a dream of the past. |
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Leo was the last dinosaur that smelled of cheap cologne. |
| [00:26.100] |
And he believed in the American dream. |
| [00:29.600] |
I was crazy about him because he believed in miracles. |
| [00:32.500] |
And even though he lived inside of life and sold Cadillacs, he always looked like a 10 year-old boy whose sleeves were too long. |
| [00:41.200] |
When I was 10, Leo gave me this great movie camera and my mother always hoped that I'd become the next Milton Berle. |
| [00:47.400] |
But dreams about houses and cars and fresh cut lawns aren't dreams when they become real. |
| [00:52.200] |
And somehow I understood what my mother meant by "Good morning, Columbus." |
| [00:57.350] |
And even if my mother didn't like what I was doing with my life, I think she'd understand. |
| [01:05.700] |
When I was 11, I got this really weird earache that wouldn't go away. |
| [01:10.400] |
I went to about a hundred doctors but none of them could help me... |
| [01:13.500] |
So what Leo did was, he went into Mexico and brought back this fat lady witch doctor who did some mambo jambo and fixed me right up. |
| [01:21.800] |
I was grateful but somehow I thought I might've been better off mute. |
| [01:25.900] |
All in all I had a very happy childhood. |
| [01:29.300] |
My father was a border guard who spent most of his life trying to keep people from crossing lines. |
| [01:34.150] |
Every night for 15 years he'd go out and smooth down the road between Mexico and Arizona. |
| [01:39.000] |
And every morning he'd be out there looking for footprints in the dirt. |
| [01:43.100] |
But my father always said that work was like a hat you put on your head. |
| [01:46.300] |
And even if you didn't have pants you didn't have to walk down the street ashamed of your ass, as long as you had a hat. |
| [03:06.200] |
And if somebody was to ask me why I don't get up right now and catch the next train back to New York, it's because you can't say no to your childhood hero. |
| [03:14.500] |
I decided to be his best man but one thing I was sure of, no matter how much I loved the smell of cheap cologne... |
| [03:21.200] |
I was never going to become my uncle. |
| [03:23.900] |
And I was never gonna sell Cadillacs |