Be quiet Katie, there is someone at the hatch
You curse the darkness I'll strike a match
Undoing the latch I tripped on the scales and fell
Just as someone hit the reception bell
The ghost of that injury still remains
My ankle starts to swell just before it rains
Leaders of nations, wild Alsatians
Crumbling foundations, I've lost my patience
Lets raise our glasses to Mr Onassis
Protection racket (Hand over the packet)
Rome needs cement (in this event)
Go over to the till, Katie (The national)
Pay this man his rent
It's a standard procedure
I forgot to mention that grandmas pension
Will ease the rent book tension
A little birdie told me you've been siphoning the poor box
I heard the knitting circle discussing Chubb Locks
With no sign of a promotion I've lost my self respect
You see I built this heap from scratch when I was poor
Now they're asking me to hoover the floor
Splash some water over me slap round the face
Did I miss a meeting I don't recognise the place
The plug in the socket burns a hole in the pocket
Lets raise our glasses to Mr Onassis
Protection racket (Hand over the packet)
Rome needs cement (in this event)
Go over to the till, Katie (The national)
Pay this man his rent to prevent incident
It's a standard procedure