[00:02.05]{Mr. Mackey} （Eric Cartman）
[00:04.98]And everyone should get along..
[00:06.98]Okay children quiet down, quiet down
[00:08.55]Children I'd like to introduce our new substitute teacher for the day
[00:12.11]His name is Mr. Shady
[00:13.80]
[00:14.48]Children quiet down please
[00:16.42]Brian don't throw that （SHUT UP!）
[00:18.44]Mr. Shady will be your new substitute
[00:20.48]while Mr. Kaniff is out with pneumonia （HE'S GOT AIDS!）
[00:22.82]Good luck Mr. Shady
[00:24.10]{Eminem}
[00:24.35]Hi there little boys and girls （**** YOU!）
[00:26.49]Today we're gonna to learn how to poison squirrels
[00:28.11]But first, I'd like you to meet my friend Bob （Huh?）
[00:30.63]Say hi Bob! （"Hi Bob"） Bob's 30 and still lives with his mom
[00:33.31]and he don't got a job, cause Bob sits at home and smokes pot
[00:36.10]but his twelve-year old brother looks up to him an awful lot
[00:38.54]And Bob likes to hang out at the local waffle spot
[00:41.41]and wait in the parking lot for waitresses off the clock
[00:43.78]when it's late and the lot gets dark and fake like he walks his dog
[00:46.97]Drag 'em in the woods and go straight to the chopping blocks （AHH!）
[00:49.85]And even if they escaped and they got the cops
[00:52.23]the ladies would all be so afraid, they would drop the charge
[00:54.56]'til one night Mrs. Stacey went off the job
[00:57.65]when she felt someone grab her whole face and said not to talk
[01:00.28]But Stacey knew it was Bob and said knock it off
[01:02.97]But Bob wouldn't knock it off cause he's crazy and off his rocker
[01:05.72]Crazier than Slim Shady is off the vodka
[01:07.38]You couldn't even take him to Dre's to get Bob a "Dr."
[01:10.87]He grabbed S tace' by the legs as chopped it off her
[01:13.28]and dropped her off in the lake for the cops to find her
[01:16.44]But ever since the day Stacey went off to wander
[01:18.60]they never found her, and Bob still hangs at the waffle diner
[01:20.66]And that's the story of Bob and his marijuana,
[01:23.11]and what it might do to you
[01:25.22]So see if the squirrels want any - it's bad for you
[01:27.39]Chorus: Mr. Mackey （Eminem）
[01:28.07]See children, drugs are bahhhd （c'mon）
[01:29.01]and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd （ask him man）
[01:32.17]and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom （that's right）
[01:34.15]She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time （she will）
[01:36.69]So kids say no to drugs （that's right）
[01:39.98]So you don't act like everyone else does （uh-huh）
[01:42.71]Then there's really nothin else to say （sing along）
[01:45.57]Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?
[01:46.78]{Eminem}
[01:47.82]My penis is the size of a peanut, have you seen it?
[01:50.25]**** NO you ain't seen it, it's the size of a peanut （Huh?）
[01:53.22]Speakin of peanuts, you know what else is bad for squirrels?
[01:55.22]Ecstasy is the worst drug in the world
[01:58.31]If someone ever offers it to you, don't do it
[02:00.62]Kids two hits'll probably drain all your spinal fluid
[02:02.51]and spinal fluid is final, you won't get it back
[02:05.90]So don't get attached, it'll attack every bone in your back
[02:08.43]Meet Zach, twenty-one years old
[02:10.52]After hangin out with some friends at a frat party, he gets bold
[02:13.54]and decides to try five, when he's bribed by five guys
[02:16.53]and peer pressure will win every time you try to fight it
[02:19.24]Suddenly, he starts to convulse and his pulse goes into hyperdrive
[02:22.87]and his eyes roll back in his skull {blblblblblb}
[02:24.84]His back starts tah - look like the McDonald's Arches
[02:26.75]He's on Donald's carpet, layin horizontal barfin {BLEH}
[02:28.92]And everyone in the apartment starts laughin at him
[02:32.48]"Hey Adam, Zach is a jackass, look at him!"
[02:35.21]cause they took it too, so they think it's funny
[02:37.21]So they're laughing at basically nothing except maybe wasting his money
[02:39.51]Meanwhile, Zach's in a coma, the action is over
[02:43.04]and his back and his shoulders hunched up like he's practicin yoga
[02:45.88]And that's the story of Zach, the ecstasy maniac
[02:47.90]So don't even feed that to squirrels class, cause it's bad for you
[02:50.75]Chorus: Mr. Mackey （Eminem）
[02:51.51]See children, drugs are bahhhd （c'mon）
[02:53.63]and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd （ask him man）
[02:56.40]and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom （that's right）
[02:58.55]She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time （she will）
[03:01.96]So kids say no to drugs （that's right）
[03:04.43]So you don't act like everyone else does （uh-huh）
[03:06.39]Then there's really nothin else to say （sing along）
[03:09.66]Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?
[03:10.88]{Eminem}
[03:12.03]And last but not least, one of the most humungous
[03:13.93]problems among young people today, is fungus
[03:17.22]It grows from cow manure, they pick it out, wipe it off,
[03:20.04]bag it up, and you put it right in your mouth and chew it
[03:22.62]Yum yum! Then you start to see some dumb stuff
[03:25.14]And everything slows down when you eat some of 'em..
[03:27.62]And sometimes you see things that aren't there （Like what?）
[03:30.62]Like fat woman in G-strings with orange hair
[03:33.03]（Mr. Shady what's a G-string?） It's yarn Claire
[03:35.66]Women stick 'em up their behinds, go out and wear 'em （Huh?）
[03:38.69]And if you swallow too much of the magic mushrooms
[03:40.68]Whoops, did I say magic mushrooms?
[03:41.87]I meant fungus Ya tongue gets, all swoll up like a cow's tongue （How come?）
[03:46.81]cause it comes from a cow's dung （Gross!!）
[03:49.21]See drugs are bad, it's a common fact
[03:51.05]But your mom and dad, know that's all that I'm good at （Oh!）
[03:53.96]But don't be me, cause if you grow up and you go and O.D.
[03:56.70]They're gonna come for me and I'ma have to grow a goatee
[03:59.05]and get a disguise and hide, cause it'll be my fault
[04:01.27]So don't do drugs, and do exactly as I don't,
[04:04.15]cause I'm bad for you
[04:05.25]Chorus: Mr. Mackey （Eminem）
[04:05.88]See children, drugs are bahhhd （c'mon）
[04:07.26]and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd （ask him man）
[04:09.99]and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom （that's right）
[04:12.20]She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time （she will）
[04:15.43]So kids say no to drugs （that's right）
[04:17.95]So you don't act like everyone else does （uh-huh）
[04:20.24]Then there's really nothin else to say （sing along）
[04:23.36]Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?
[04:24.86]{Mr. Mackey} （Eric Cartman）
[04:26.93]Come on children, clap along （SHUT UP!）
[04:28.92]Sing along children （Suck my mother****in dick!）
[04:30.65]Drugs are just bad, drugs are just bad （South Park is gonna sue me!）
[04:36.97]So don't do drugs （Suck my mother****in penis!）
[04:39.31]so there'll be more for me （Hippie! God damnit!）
[04:43.68]（So, ****ed up, right now..）