Elvis Costello - Sulphur To Sugarcane

It's not very far from Sulphur to Sugarcane
'Cos everywhere I travel pretty girls call my name
I give ‘em as squeeze and they shoot me a wink
I buy their hot-headed husbands a long cool drink
You'd better come up smelling sweet
'cos you're a long time stinking
Then it's a little too late to complain
It's not very far from Sulphur to Sugarcane

Now if you catch my eye
and you find that it runs down your leg
It's like striking a match pretty hard upon a powder keg
They'll tell you from the borders to the waters in the Gulf
And if you take all the sugar you'll end up in the sulphur
And you'll burn in...
"Hello, baby I'm a pleased to meet you"
"I wouldn't do you wrong, honey"
"I wouldn't cheat you, honey'"
"When can I see you again?"
"Wrap you up in cellophane"
It's not very far from Sulphur to Sugarcane...

It's not very far from Sulphur to Sugarcane...

And your eyes fill up with brine
Because you're drowning in wine
It's like the last days of Rome
With the despots and divine
There's no place like home
For a little doll from China
It's a little too late to complain
It's not very far from Sulphur to Sugarcane

You can go west to Texas
Go east to Mississippi
You can run out of money
You can run out of pity
Throw open your purse
Until you're crying for mercy
Go to Alabama
Escape Louisiana
I'm digging like a miner
North and South Carolina
And then if you continue
You will end up in Virginia
The woman in Poughkeepsie
Take their clothes off when they're tipsy
But in Albany, New York
They love the filthy way I talk
As they gargle with the finest champagne
When they can't get the grape or the grain
'Cos it's not very far from Sulphur to Sugarcane

'Cos it's not very far from Sulphur to Sugarcane

If I could find a piano
Here in Bloomington, Indiana
I would play it with my toes
Until the girls all take their clothes off
Woman knock upon my door
In odd and even numbers
But none of them as wild as I discovered in Columbus
I gave up married women
'Cause I heard it was a sin
But now I'm back in Pittsburgh,
I might take them up again
Because they gargle with the finest champagne
When they can't get the grape or the grain
'Cos it's not very far from Sulphur to Sugarcane

'Cos it's not very far from Sulphur to Sugarcane

Up in Syracuse
I was once falsely accused
But I'm not here to hurt you
I'mhere to steal your
Down in Bridgeport
The woman will kill you for sport
But inWorcester, Massachusetts
They just love my sauce
The woman in Poughkeepsie
Take their clothes off when they're tipsy
But I hear in Ypsilanti
They don't wear any panties...
Once they gargle with the finest champagne
They hitch up their skirts and exclaim
It's not very far, Sugar
It's not very far, Sugar
It's not very far from Sulphur to Sugarcane