Flatfoot Sam bought an automobile
No money down, it was a real good deal
Didn't wanna work, just ride around town
Finance company put his feets on the ground
Oh, Flatfoot 
Sam, you're always in a jam
Flatfoot Sam stole a ten dollar bill
He told the judge, he did it for a thrill
He got sixty days suspended fine
He thanked judge for being so kind
Oh, Flatfoot 
Sam, you're always in a jam
Flatfoot Sam, he got him a job
The very same day the place got robbed
The cats got away, they couldn't be found
They picked up 
Sam and they dragged him down
Oh, Flatfoot 
Sam, you're always in a jam
Flatfoot Sam playin' a chuck-a-luck game
The dice got switched, 
Sam got the blame
He pulled a gun, shut out the light
Everybody hollered, run for your life
Oh, Flatfoot 
Sam, you're always in a jam
Flatfoot Sam went out on a spree
He married a gal weighed 603
She spent all his money, sold all his land
Next thing she did, she got another man
Oh, Flatfoot 
Sam, you're always in a jam