I don't care if it rains or freezes
Long as I got my plastic 
JesusRidin' on the dashboard of my car
Through my trials and tribulations
And my travels through the nation
With my plastic 
Jesus I'll go far
Ridin' down the thoroughfare
With a nose up in the air
A wreck may be ahead but 
He don't mind
Trouble comin' 
He don't see
He just keeps 
His eye on me
And any other thing that lies behind
With my plastic 
JesusGoodbye and 
I'll go far
I said, with my plastic 
JesusSitting on the dashboard of my car
When I'm in a traffic jam
He don't care if 
I say damn
I can let all my curses roll'
Cause Jesus plastico doesn't hear'
Cause He has a plastic ear
The man who invented plastic saved my soul
With my plastic 
JesusGoodbye and 
I'll go far
I said, with my plastic 
JesusSitting on the dashboard of my car
And if I weave around at night
Policemen think 
I'm very tired
They never find my bottle
Though they ask'
Cause plastic 
Jesus shelters me
For His head comes off you see
He's hollow and 
I use him like a flask
WhoaSave me
I don't care if it's dark or scary
Long as I got magnetic 
MaryRidin' on the dashboard of my car
I feel that 
I'm protected amply
I've got the love of the whole damn family
Ridin' on the dashboard of my car
With my plastic 
JesusI said, “
Goodbye and 
I'll go far”
And I said, with my plastic 
JesusI said sitting on the dashboard of my car
When I'm goin' fornicatin', 
I've got my ceramic 
SatanSittin' on the dashboard of my car
Women know 
I'm on the level
Thanks to the wide-eyed stoneware devil
Sneerin' from the dashboard of my car