[00:17.13]Me, I'm the Lonesome Kicker
[00:24.33]Extra points, field goals at your service
[00:31.76]One might think it comes with glory
[00:38.94]You might think different after you listen to my story
[00:47.04]My helmet is equipped with a tiny face mask
[00:54.16]What it possibly could protect, I do not know
[01:01.96]The other guys on the team
[01:03.83]Like to make fun of my little shoulder pads
[01:09.63]And also like to hide the special shoe
[01:12.57]I need to kick in the snow
[01:17.49]People think it's so easy
[01:19.93]To kick a field goal from the 30 yard line
[01:24.74]They forget to add seven yards for the snap
[01:27.67]And 10 more 'cause the goal posts are pushed way back
[01:32.22]In 1974, the uprights were right on the goal line
[01:36.28]But some of the players were running into them
[01:37.77]And getting hurt
[01:39.46]So screw the kicker
[01:42.45]Who cares about the kicker?
[01:47.07]But I kick that ball
[01:48.82]And I pray it goes straight
[01:50.94]If it does
[01:52.19]The coach says "Good job, number 8"
[01:54.81]He doesn't even know my name is
[01:56.88]Andre Kristacovitchlalinski, Jr.
[02:01.93]But that's the life I live
[02:05.24]The Lonesome Kicker
[02:14.67]Kickoffs can be so very scary
[02:21.54]Especially, if the returner breaks on through
[02:29.09]And I'm the only guy on the playing field left to tackle him
[02:36.58]I don't want to get hurt
[02:38.51]So I pretend to tie my shoe
[02:44.52]Once again, I'm ignored by my teammates and all my coaches
[02:51.76]"Go back where you came from!"
[02:53.76]Scream 70,000 fans
[02:58.87]Well, I know I could win their love back
[03:02.05]By catching a winning touch-down
[03:06.74]But, unfortunately, I was born with these very small hands
[03:14.00]And I hope that the cameras don't come in too close
[03:17.81]'Cause they might see the tears in my eyes
[03:21.74]As I sit on this bench made of cold-hearted wood
[03:25.61]And the splinters go deep in my thighs
[03:28.98]And the towel boy snickers as he walks by
[03:32.35]The Lonesome Kicker
[03:38.77]Another blocked kick
[03:42.58]And everybody blames me
[03:46.19]But it was the Left Guard
[03:48.19]Who didn't pick up his man
[03:51.25]Oh, why can't they see...
[04:07.67]In my home country
[04:09.85]I could have been a minor league soccer player
[04:14.97]But I came to America
[04:17.02]Seeking fortune and seeking fame
[04:22.52]I didn't realize that if I shanked one
[04:25.76]And blew the point spread
[04:29.88]Some drunk guys would push me into their hibachi
[04:33.31]After the game
[04:37.00]So I go home at night
[04:39.12]'Cause I never get invited
[04:40.11]To go drinking with the other guys
[04:44.67]And I sit in my chair, and I soak my foot
[04:48.10]As I eat a plate of cold french fries
[04:51.91]And my wife's out with her quote-unquote friend
[04:56.03]And my son can't look me in the eyes
[04:59.27]But that's the life I live
[05:02.64]The Lonesome Kicker
[05:10.58]Kicking for you
[05:17.75]They took my snow shoe
[05:25.87]They're going for two