[verse 1]Driving with a yellow dog, 
I95He's got a smile on his face and big shiny eyes
Up at a decent hour, never ate yet
Got a little 
Johnny Cash in the ol' tape deck
Nothing in the trunk but some base ball gloves
A pair of jumper cables and a set of golf clubs
Blanket on the back seat, we're in rough shape
Sunroof held on with a bit of duct tape
Looking for a gas station, better make a list
Fill'er up with regular, 
I need to take a piss
Sexy girl air freshener, snacks and that pinwheel
Top up the fluids, clean the bugs off the windshield
Not a care in the world, not a how and a why
No destination, not a cloud in the sky
Back on the road not a moment too soon
Dish ran away with some other spoon[chorus x2]
Wicked and wierd, 
I'm a road hog with an old dog
Singing slow songs, tryin'a hold on
Wicked and wierd, 
I'm a rat fish
Tryin'a practice doin' back flips on your mattress[verse 2]
Hole in the muffler, ghosts on the shoulder
Cough drops, loose change in the beverage holder
To roll down the window, you gotta use a wrench
Been thinking about brushing up on my french
Right there in the glove box, if you should look
You'll find 40 parking tickets and a copy of the 
Good BookDon't bother looking, you'll never find me
I'm starting from scratch and leaving trouble behind me[chorus x2]
Wicked and wierd, 
I'm a road hog with an old dog
Singing slow songs, tryin'a hold on
Wicked and wierd, 
I'm a rat fish
Tryin'a practice doin' back flips on your mattress
Wicked, wicked, wicked and weird[verse 3]
Christ Almighty, there's a rattle in the wheel well
Dog fell asleep and man, 
I don't feel well-