If you feel lonesome If you're on your own If you feel like needing help Don't wait to ring my bell You will find me as cute as your favourite nephew Until I break your knees with a baseball bat You will find me so kind, I'll be someone you like Until I brush your teeth with a razorblade I'll be there to heal you I'll be there to care I'll be there like your own son So that you can't be aware First I'll introduce myself as your best friend The one you never had, the one you were waiting for Then once is empty your bill-filled matras You can thank your holy Christ if by chance I don't take your life If you need a rendez-vous 24/7 I'll be there for you I'll be the bogeyman of the stories You've been telling to your children You will find me as cute as your favourite nephew Until I break your knees with a baseball bat You will find me so kind, I'll be someone you like Until I brush your teeth with a razorblade First I'll introduce myself as your best friend The one you never had, the one you were waiting for Then once is empty your bill-filled matras You can thank your holy Christ if by chance I don't take your life The more it gets old The more it gets cold