The Scarlet Pimpernel 
 
 
 Who is the Scarlet Pimpernel?
 I've heard he swaggers on a heath
 With several daggers in his teeth.
 They say he cracks the longest whip
 And has the stiffest upper lip
 I've heard he's had his skin tatooed
 And dances in the nude
 Who is the Scarlet Pimpernel?
 Now really girls
 You can't believe just anything you hear
 For accuracy I look to the daily press
 Today they say the fellow's a Venetian gondalier
 A lusty Latin lover
 Yes, well, more or less
 And although he's feeble minded
 They report he's all the rage
 When he travels with his twelve foot spear
 He was seen the other day
 Hacking off a Frenchie's ear...And two knee caps!
 
 He's always at it tooth and nail
 There's always someone to impale
 But he relaxes now and then
 To take a sail upon the Seine
 I wish he'd sail away with me
 Or simply come to tea?
 This plucky ne'er-do-well 
 No, this lucky bloody swell!
 Who is the Scarlet Pimpernel?