Pump it! I'm running on air! I'm walking on clouds!
I don't exercise. I don't care... pump it!
*pumping & explosion & moan*
I paid top-dollar for these incredible
high-technology polyester shoes to walk around
the mall and shop for more sports equipment
I won't play sports in!
I need to get more from life. Much more!
I need to get high, really high! High on air!
*pumping & explosion*
Oh yeah! These Eris shoes really pump up!
That's right! You can now buy some air!
The science of sports and marketing
results in a shoe that pumps!
Sound silly to you? What if we told you that
Eris Pump-Up would improve your game by 300%?
But I don't have a game!
You gotta have game! Be a winner!
Pump up, and slam dunk!
*pumping*
Oh yeah! God, the size of your shoes!
You'll shave seconds off your personal best!
Oh yeah! You mean I can
whack off even more times a day?
Absolutely! Probably five times more!
Because you'll be walking on air!
You'll feel so much more athletic
after pumping up your shoes, you'll
automatically lose weight and feel high-tech!
Just like a sports star! You ARE a star!
Now you're a winner! With air in shoes!
Now I can reach for the stars!
I've pumped up my ego!
*pumping*
Pump it up! With Eris!