I bear lots of animosity to bellhops,
They never bring my luggage up on time
And taxi drivers really tax my patience,
If they vanished, would it really be a crime?
I don't like meter maids or underwater welders,
Health fanatic cooks or camera crews!
Not fond of monks or yoga teachers,
Or sports fans in the bleachers!
And I'm not sure how I'm feeling about you!! (pigeons start cooing)
There are lots of horrid people on this planet,
That I would love to give a lashing to! (pigeons stop cooing)
But my goody two-shoes brother,
The favorite of my mother,
Is the one I want to smother
In a ton of pigeon goo!
Yes, my goody two-shoes brother,
The favorite of my mother,
He's the one I want to smother
Thank you, Sir! I'll have another!
He's the one I want to smother
In a ton of pigeon goo-oooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!
You see, you see how I held that last note, good, huh?