[00:32.88]Hey hey, I got a monster in the closet
[00:34.51]The door's open even though I've tried to lock it
[00:36.94]His teeth are long, he's gonna eat me today
[00:38.76]No matter what you say, I won't be OK, so there
[00:42.07]Hey hey, won't you just turn out your pocket
[00:44.63]And gimme something I can put up on the docket
[00:47.26]A simple strategy for fighting it back,
[00:49.32]It's not like talking to it nice is gonna put it on track
[00:52.26]Just a stick or a broom that'll help me get it out of the room
[00:57.07]I don't wanna meet my own doom tonight
[00:58.91]
[01:02.47]So hey, just help me out
[01:06.91]Lend me a shotgun please for just one bout
[01:13.16]Hey hey, I got a monster in the closet
[01:15.91]We used some tape and now we're hoping that'll block it
[01:18.54]Must be a gate into another dimension,
[01:20.85]And now I feel like a moderator in a detention, but now I'm
[01:24.22]Hey hey, just a picture in a locket
[01:26.41]Now that it's gone and torn my bones out of their sockets
[01:28.97]A solemn memory for those who knew best
[01:31.23]But for the monster in the closet, wasn't even a test
[01:34.11]So why couldn't you loan me a little help of your own?
[01:38.62]You couldn't even look in the room to be sure
[01:44.43]So hey, just help me out
[01:48.87]Lend me a shotgun please for just one bout
[01:54.43]Hey, just help me out
[01:59.32]Lend me an 8-gauge please, put it in my mouth
[02:05.70]I called, I called your name out loud
[02:08.20]You never came and it was just the bones they found
[02:10.87]It didn't leave a single bit of meat,
[02:13.62]Not enough for positive police ID
[02:16.00]And now I'm gone, gone, gone, don't you regret
[02:18.62]Never giving me the time you say you'd spend?
[02:21.31]Sitting by my crackpot ass in bed