作词 : Mike D, Too Short
BEYOTCHShort 
Dog's in the house, once again with this pimp shit
These are the tales, the freaky tales
These are the tales that 
I tell so well
For fifteen years 
I've been a real player
So if you wanna have sex say hell yeah
I met this girl in 
AtlantaShe let a nigga fuck but 
I still can't stand her
The pussy wasn't good 
I said "What's up bitch?I'm tired of fuckin' can you suck dick?"
She said "No", but she had another friend
So I switched like a real pimp
Laying on my back with my dick in her mouth
I said "BeyotchWhat you talkin' 'bout?"
She mumbled something, 
I don't know what she said
Smoking on a joint gettin some bomb-ass head
Bitch said her name was 
TheresaAll on my dick like cheese on pizza
In the A-T-
L where the grass is greener
I fucked Nina, 
Melina, Sabrina and 
TinaWhen I first moved out there, 
I met Holly
Five-foot one with a bad ass body
Freaky little bitch she was a 
GeminiShe used to stand up and say "Shoot it in my eye!"
I met another girl went to 
Spellman College
Every day after school 
I aquired the knowledge
I took her to my house so 
I could get some
I fucked her real good and made the bitch cum
She was hella limber, said her name was 
AmberShe wouldn't stop screaming, that's all 
I remember
I had another freak, her name was 
WendyWhen 
I first met the bitch she said "Please don't pimp me!"
I did it anyway
I'm coming straight from 
Oakland, C-
AAin't no other way, like my girl 
ShanteShe lives in 
Atlanta, but she comes from the 
BayLet me hit that hometown pussy on the strimp
Look out for a nigga, treat me like a pimp
You know I can't forget about the strippers
Cinderella with the glass slipper
Top down in the 
Benz ain't spendin' no ends
Fat bag of indo, bring all your friends
It's like 
Lotto, you get a quick pick
Bitches said they heard 
I had a big dick
So I showed it to 'em, only took one second
Dick rock hard, bitches gettin' nekked
These are the tales, the freaky tales
These are the tales that 
I tell so well
For fifteen years 
I've been a real player
So if you wanna have sex say hell yeah
I know another bitch, her name is 
TerriI lied to the bitch "It's about time I get married"
I couldn't see me pimpin' her
So I fucked her next door neighbor, 
JenniferShe had two roommates, 
Cindy and 
AmyTerri caught me creepin' and said "Nigga don't play me!"
But them hoes liked to freak
I used to send 'em new niggas every other week
I never would tell you all the hoes 
I fuckedThese are the tales, some of this shit 
I made upI change the name so 
I can rhyme and shit
So if it's you, you know the time bitch
I spent the night with 
Monique in between the sheets
It was her, her girlfriend 
April and me
I do it on the regular, two at a time
Call it what you want 
I be a fool wit' mine
Like them 
Texas niggas, 
I never would change
Like my niggas up in 
Cleveland spit the good game
These hoes recognize when 
I come in the door
I ain't trickin bitch, so what you want me for?
Like Natalie, swearin' up and down 
I had to be the one
Bitch lets have some fun
I fucked her, you thought 
I didn'tShort 
Dog's in the house and 
I keep on pimpin'
So then I fucked the twins, 
Sharon and 
KarenWent straight for the panties, but they wasn't wearin 'em
Don't ask me who 
I fucked first, it ain't my fault
In the end, 
I still got the same results
These are the tales, the freaky tales
These are the tales that 
I tell so well
For fifteen years 
I've been a real player
So if you wanna have sex say hell yeah
Hell yeah, 
I never would forget 
CharleneWe was layin real close like two sardines
Talkin', laughin', kissin' and shit
Next thing 
I know she started kissin' my dick
You know the rest, before she left 
I paged Mia
I told her "I got a new freak over here"
She rushed over, 
I left and when 
I came back
Them hoes was lickin' cats
They call me "Short" when 
I'm pimpin', "Dog" when 
I'm mackin'
Gotta get the money, thats all thats happenin'
She wants to be my love slave, 
I need some bug spray
To keep these hoes away
I never would tell you all the hoes 
I fuckedThese are the tales, some of this shit 
I made upI change the name so 
I can rhyme and shit
So if it's you, you know the time bitch
These are the tales, the freaky tales
These are the tales that 
I tell so well
For fifteen years 
I've been a real player
So if you wanna get fucked say hell yeah (hell yeah)
BeyotchAnd it don't stop
Old school 
Short DogStill spittin' it
Still gettin' it
Gettin' that money
Eastside baby, 
OaklandYou ain't knowin?
Beyotch