MacArthur Parker:Troy, Mac Parker. Ever hear of...Planet of the Apes?
Troy:Eh, the movie or the planet?
MacArthur Parker:The brand new multi-million dollar musical!
And you are starring... as the human.
Troy:It's the part I was born to play, baby!
Gorilla 1:Help, the human's about to escape!
Troy:Get your paws off me, you dirty ape!
Gorilla 2:He can talk!
Orangutans:He can talk! He can talk!
He can talk! He can talk!
He can talk! He can talk!
Troy:I can siiiiiiiing!
Chimp Nurse:Ooh, help me, Dr. Zaius!
Orangutans:Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Oh, Dr. Zaius!
Orangutan 1:Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Troy:What's wrong with me?
Dr. Zaius:I think you're crazy.
Troy:Want a second opinion.
Dr. Zaius:You're also lazy.
Orangutans:Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Oh, Dr. Zaius!
Orangutan 1:Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Troy:Can I play the piano anymore?
Dr. Zaius:Of course you can.
Troy:Well, I couldn't before.
Orangutans:Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Oh, Dr. Zaius!
Orangutan 1:Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Orangutans:Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Oh, Dr. Zaius!
Bart:This play has everything.
Homer:Oh, I love legitimate the-a-ter.
Troy:I hate every ape I see
From chimpan-a to chimpan-z,
No, you'll never make a monkey out of me.
Oh, my God, I was wrong,
It was Earth all along.
You finally made a monkey...
Ape:Yes we finally made a monkey...
Troy and Apes:Yes, you finally made a monkey out of me!
Troy:I love you, Dr. Zaius!
Thank you! It's great to be back!
I just want to say I wouldn't be here without the support of a very special lady,
my always outrageous fiancee, Selma! Take a bow, sugarbeet!
Selma:Oh.
Homer:Down in front!