Shattered Illusions

Song Shattered Illusions
Artist Patti LuPone
Album Matters of the Heart

Lyrics

(Marilyn)
I fell for a man at a party, a hyperion.
His God like beauty easily met each criterion.
Six foot four and debonaire,
Emerald eyes and thick black hair.
But when we got closer, was he perfect?
No sir.
His nice white teeth came out at night,
And socks down his jeans was what made 'em tight.
Oh, my shattered illusions.
I got a shock when I saw him cleanse,
Each bright green contact lense.
Oh, my poor confusion.
But the thing that cause the final rift,
Was when his toupee started to drift.
And his shoes had three inch lifts.
Oh, my shattered illusions.
(Adele)
Now, as for me I lately met a city type.
He was nearly fifty seven, but I couldn't gripe.
Rolled umbrella, pin-striped suit.
And a shiny rolls to boot.
But when I got closer, was he perfect?
No sir.
His great big hands were like wet spaghetti.
Lay on the couch and said, call me Betty.
Oh, my shattered illusions.
He went on and on, for hours and hours,
About something called golden showers.
And showed me his contusions.
Wearing nipple clamps and bows in his pubic hair,
He handed me a whip and said beat me there!
Then asked if he could sniff my underwear!
Oh, my shattered illusions.
(Dillie)
Now me, I really think I've met the perfect guy.
Can't find a single fault, no matter how I try.
Though no Adonis, he's the cream.
He's every mother's dream.
But will I let him get closer?
No sir.
He thinks I'm lovely but entre nous,
My lashes and nails are stuck on with glue.
Oh, his shattered illusions.
With a little tuck here,
and a little tuck there.
And I wasn't born with this blonde hair.
Oh, his poor delusions.
My original chin was much, much bigger.
My nose job would simply make him snigger.
As to silicone, I owe my shapely figure.
Oh, those shattered illusions.
But I'll keep Mum because you see,
His bride is what I long to be.
But, god help us if the children look like me.
Oh, those shattered illusions.