My Friend Fats, he’s a hell of a guy
Let me tell you why
He’s the epitome of neighborly
My friend Fats, he’s a hell of a guy
Let me tell you all why
He drips personality
My friend Fats, he’s a heck of a Joe
You should watch him go
Bopping in the bad shine
With a bota bag of fried wine
My friend Fats, he’s a hell of a guy
Let me tell you why
He’s lowbrow nobility
My friend Fats, he’s a jovial sort
When he’s holding court
The anecdotes go round
And the lager goes down
My friend Fats, he’s a hell of a guy

Let me tell you all why
He’s not much for punctuality
But heck on debauchery
Fats, he’s a hell of a man
Can’t you all understand?
Him taunting his mortality
He’s unnerved by sobriety